"End of Shift"
[previous "What Wonders Come When Perchance To Dream"]

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Setting: USS ANUBIS, Stark's Quarters
Stardate: 30149.1600

Another busy day had come to an end.  This one though had been nothing like the previous which had seen the majority of the command staff go through hell and back in another dimension to boot.  In comparison, today had been quiet and boring, and that had actually bothered Jayson.

Keeping his mind busy had been easy when dealing with two transdimensional races trying to kill one another over a machine that predated human civilization by thousands of years.  There had been little time to think of something other than the crew's own survival and figuring out what was actually happening around them.

Being back on the ANUBIS and going about the everyday routine had made things a lot more complicated for the Chief of Operations.  As much as he tried, his mind kept returning to Leena. The morning had come and gone without a hitch thanks to the salvage operation and him having been accompanied by the Chief of Security.  As annoying as Ya'Han could be at times, her presence had insured that his thoughts had not lingered on his deceased wife, something that he had been grateful for.

Now that he was back in his quarters and alone Jayson let his defences down.  As per the recommendations of Counselor Dalziel, he took a moment each day to think of his wife and the life they could have had together. This made sure that such thoughts did not surface in the middle of a crucial time and endanger everyone else's lives.

Memories came flooding in causing him to cry and imagine how she would have reacted had she been here on the ANUBIS.  How angry she would have been for no other reason that he had placed his life in danger.  Flying a VIPER had not been the safest job, but to do so in a stormy atmosphere had been next to crazy.  He imagined how she would have hit him on the shoulder, very much in the same way as Ya'Han had earlier that same day.

After a while, his tears dried and Jayson took in a long deep breath, thinking that if Leena had been alive, he would not have been on board the ANUBIS, or even in Starfleet.  His life would have been completely different, so much so that he could not imagine it at that moment.

He made his way into the bedroom and stared at his own reflection in the mirror.  The man that he had been with Leena was not the man who had been looking back at him. Life had changed him in countless ways and he could only hope that she would have approved of the person he had become.  Certainly she would have wanted for him to be happy and not waste his life as he had been doing.  If he learned anything from their last mission it would have to be how precious life was and to make the most of each moment.

Jayson grinned.  Counselor Dalziel had given him a task to do each night, to look back at the day and find something to be grateful for.  The first few nights this had been a little difficult, Jayson having to find something usually taken for granted to be thankful for. Today though, several things came to his mind in regards to this daily task.  He was part of an amazing crew doing an impossible job, that alone was enough but their last mission had also made him aware of those around him.  Everyone had a role to play, a job to do, and without each one none of them would have likely been here to look back at what had happened.

The Chief of Operations had to acknowledge that he was grateful for their CO's leadership, the crew's dedication and thought that he was even grateful for the presence of the Chief Of Security as he rubbed his sore shoulder.

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Jayson Sousa

Ensign Jayson Stark
Operations
USS ANUBIS, NCC-18501