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"Bonding"
Previous post: "Between You and Me"
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Setting:USS ANUBIS, Sickbay
Stardate:63073.1550

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Watching her movements intently in case they would give anything away, the Kzinti listened as her friend and crew-mate spoke. Though her mind was still busy with thoughts of its own, Hex knew it was the right thing to hear the woman out and talk awhile. Anything distracting would do when one's own mother can enter a peaceful mind at will.

"It's just... you seem so stressed and poised for attack all the time, like your expecting someone to hit you or something. I know you don't really like talking about it... but I feel I should help," the young human female stated.

The hitting comment stung, but Hex didn't let it show, continuing the conversation smoothly as though she were talking to anyone else, "I'm sure there are other things on your mind besides my welfare."

"Yes, as I said before there are many things on my mind..." the aCMO admitted, falling somewhat into line with her friend's official way of speaking while thinking of her sister's ever lingering presence.

"As for helping me..." Hex wanted to say more, but her throat closed up. She didn't want to be so cold and formal with everyone, but it was a hard habit to break. Taking a shuddering breath that allowed her voice to settle, the Kzinti began again, "As for helping me, I'm honored by your concern, but I can take care of myself."

Adriana seemed to take the Kzinti's words badly, Hex noted her stance change and her face fog with unease. "I guess I saw that one coming." Ensign Lopez said, smiling slightly to let the Sec/Tac officer know she was attempting at humor.

Sighing, Hex rested herself back down against the biobed and turned to lay on her side and look at Adriana. Though the Kzinti knew next to nothing about most of the crew members, she knew that almost everyone was battling their own inner demons. Maybe... maybe it was time to let someone help her for a change.

"I wasn't trying to be rude... or to push you away, I merely... " Hex sighed again, it was more difficult to talk then she had hoped, "I just don't usually open up to people. Especially not to counselors."

"I understand that, it's hard for me too." Ensign Lopez explained, sitting down on the side of the biobed carefully as to not make the Kzinti nervous, "I still think it would be a lot easier to talk to someone... hopefully who didn't think I was insane."

The furry humanoid allowed an honest grin to grace her face and nodded her understanding. All her people who knew where the Kzinti was thought she was insane, but Ensign Fanggot knew better. A warm flutter that Hex never felt before rose up in her chest. A thrilling sense of belonging washed over her as the aCMO returned her grin.

"Understand that I can't tell you everything about me... there are somethings better left unknown even to those closest to me." Hex cautioned, a serious tone entering her voice before she smiled gently, "but, besides that, I'd rather hear why you would consider yourself *insane* in the first place. For some reason it doesn't seem hard to come by on this ship."

Adriana smiled uneasily, but seemed willing enough to the Kzinti. Not wanting her to feel uncomfortable, Hex moved to sit cross-legged on the biobed to wait. The Ensign had never been a good talker, but she was an expert at listening and even more so at understanding.

"Well, I have a sister named Amanda who follows me around all the time" the aCMO confided quietly, the Kzinti noted the slight reddening of her cheeks.

"That's common, my brother follows me around a lot, but he couldn't find me if he wanted to anyway." Hex stated bluntly, a cold acid creeping into her throat.

"No, I mean my sister is actually *here*." Adriana enforced, glancing over to the corner of the room.

"Right now?" Hex questioned, her thin brows rising.

"Yes, just over there, but no one can see her but me... " the aCMO replied, nodding off in the corner's general direction.

The Kzinti smiled a serene smile, it changed her entire visage, the once tense, cold and collected exterior literally evaporated. "Sometimes, it's better to have someone no one can see, than to not have anyone there at all." Hex replied, a warmth touching her tone and making her sound wise and peaceful.

"It can get annoying sometimes, but, when you say it that way, it sounds much better," the human noted, "It also makes it sound like you're alone often too... "

It took less than a millisecond for the cold and tense exterior to return. "I am often alone, now and always." the Kzinti stated, "And that is how it must always remain." venom streaked into her voice, but was gone when she looked back at the other young woman.

"Why?" Adriana asked, curiosity making her sit slightly slouched over to be eve-level with the shorter Kzinti.

"A Kzinti is, in all respects, almost always alone. Only through marriage do you truly bind yourself to another, though most don't unless they find their soulmate." Hex explained, trying to keep the edge from her voice.

"Soulmates, I didn't know other cultures had them." Adriana said, curiously looking over the dark-skinned Kzinti.

"The Kzinti people believe that a person's soul is only half of a complete soul, separated and cast into two different bodies.  The purpose of life is to search for your soul's other half so that they can be reunited.  After death, if one's soulmate was not found, the soul is reincarnated into a new body and their search continues for another lifetime, hence the tern of "old soul".  If on the other hand the soulmate has been found, the two souls merge into one and are granted access to the Far Place where they create two new "young souls" that are set forth to search for one another. I have no soulmate for I am Forsaken, therefore my soul can never go to the Far Place." Hex explained again, her voice taking on the characteristics of a story-teller's, her ear twitching with annoyance at the last bit.

The young human woman found herself stunned, "Forsaken? What could you have done become Forsaken?" she asked.

The Kzinti's black fur stood on end, her ears flattened against her head as she raised her eyes to once again meet those of the aCMO. Hex's entire appearance had become wild and tense with anger, her fangs showing when she spoke, "I was born."

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NM:

Everyone: Long post, sorry, there was a lot to explain about that one piece of the culture. Yet, there is so much left to explain ::sigh:: Thank you all for having me here, I'm honored ::smile::

Marissa: Hope this is what you had in mind, you can continue the conversation if you want with more about Adriana, I'm sure Hex would love to know.

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Ashley Shane (crazyoneofthenight@hotmail.com)
Ensign Hex Fanggot
Assistant Sec/Tac officer
USS ANUBIS